The return of the eye(read:’I’)

yes, its my eye! Rocket-science or drawing that bad ?

This feels so good. To be able to sit down, move my fingers over my laptops keyboard and type out the happenings of the entire time I had been absent. It had been a tiresome month, these past few weeks filled up with assignment submissions that kept me and my mates up all night, tests that subjected our young minds to horrific gruelling and the marks that could have put even the biggest of failures to shame. NO! Unless you are in NED, do not even think along the lines  “Been there, felt that” or anything likewise. It is not the same. What we endured in the shade less institute that we love so much (And I had to mention this since the heat is the only thing that tops the depressive season of examination at this prestigious place) is the proof that we young souls contribute to more than 50 % of the nerd population that resides in Pakistan. And before most of the people I am referring to jump to their defenses claiming that they are anything but a nerd and telling tales of how their beloved sound system got confiscated due to over-jamming,a day before the paper (YES! I meant you Mr. very OK), I rest my case. I’ll drop the percentage of nerd-town down to 40. Happy?

So anyway all I was seeing for the past few weeks were overly crowded photocopy shops, over grown beards (this does not go out to the boys only :P), hairstyles desperately calling out for a trim,girls and boys in deplorable states with no regard to their wardrobes, the air-conditioned library (what? If you got it, flaunt it no?) with many students crowded at its doors as early as 8:00 am to get the best seat for the day would be spent in this pit, whoops and whistles and shouts of “Cheeeeeeeeeeetaaaaaaay” (Genius) when somebody solved a difficult numerical, students milling around teachers offices begging for an increase in their sessional (marks achieved in various tests throughout the year) so they could study only to the extent that  would pass them, so on and so forth.

Teachers choose this time of the entire year to avenge the disregard of the students they tolerated the entire semester.The torment and insults that me and my classmates went through from one particular teacher remains to be my favorite memory. This particular teacher ended up failing more than half the class in those amateur tests she put our way that got us swearing throughout the entire test and seriously made us wonder where NED gets its hunters from. Moreover on reaching her office she refused to show anyone their respective test papers that she so gladly failed us in, in spite of the 5 page long stories we made up in our lame attempts to pass. Some really desperate souls turned up at her office some time later only to get another telling off, this time with a “dhamki” (threat)!

“Ab aap aey to aapka roll number lekar shikayat karwa dungi” (If you come again, I’ll send your complain!)

We love our teachers. Enough said.

So now you all know what kind of month it had been. And it gets worse. Know the feeling when all your friends get higher marks than you and you have to act like you are really happy for them while you actually are in a state of utter shock since you are supposedly the nerd? Yeah well it is not easy trying to hide it. (I admit it I was jealous. Quit smirking now!) These were the happenings before the exams began. The real story is when the bull strikes. Whattay week! I will choose not to talk about it. My blog might become PG rated then.I have a lot piled up inside and most of them are new swear words that I learnt which got me thinking how weirdly obsessed our swear-makers are with the mothers and sisters of the nation. Ok moving on!

This weird blogger felt an itching sensation in her eye two days before the last paper. Not having seen a mirror in days, I ignored it, threw a splash of cold water and went back to studying. In no time, my eye turned into this one big red source of stopping any passerby. Then began those eye related jokes at home and among friends. Everything got compared to “Aymen’s eye” from the difficult exam paper to the sole of someones shoe to some weird t.v show etc. And still I refused to accept that I had an eye infection. While different people came up with 20 different reasons why I had a swollen red-eye, I had the most suitable explanation to this untimely happening that everybody very conveniently ended up believing and that also helped me earn some brownie points from my relatives. Anyone who asked me about my eye, CORRECTION, exclaimed in horror why the hell I was crying (since it looked as if I was), I explained with all the right expressions of someone extremely stressed:

” Lack of sleep. Have been sleeping for three hours only. Studies got me growing crazy!”

People gave me sympathetic looks and praised my will power and determination to pass with flying colors (BIG JOKE)  and also took the trouble of enlightening me with their grandparents knowledge of curing my eye with Arq-e-Gulab (Rose water). But what remains un-matchable is the reaction of the creatures I call my friends. Here you go, get a load of this:

“To kis ne kaha tha itna parhne ko?? Kya karlogi itna parh k?? Agay to tumko shaadi hi karni hogi!”

(Who asked you to study this much? What can you possibly end up doing by studying so much? In the end you’ll get married only)

This was enough to get me back on the ground. Thankyou Guys for making me feel useless!

My father was extremely unsuccessful in getting me out of the drawing-room to get my eyes checked by a specialist. Ok I will go back a few words to explain the drawing-room part. That is where I study like most of us do since we are study-room deprived here in Pakistan. Somehow, all the spare rooms end up being the store rooms since we give more preference to stuff than people. Anyway, so my drawing-room is pretty different from an average drawing-room. I think I’ll cover a post on my drawing-room soon. Any friend who read this sat up a bit straighter to hear me retell the story so guys you need to look out for a drawing-room post. It is going to be special.

Moving on, my father finally got me to an eye specialist who made it to my list of 10 most favorite people even though he blamed the cell phone and the laptop for doing this to my eye and not the sleep-deprivation excuse. And yes it was an eye-infection. Then began the discussion most youngsters hate. How cell phones and internet play a disastrous role in the lives of youngsters blub blub blub. The doctor sent me back with a prescription referring some eye drops. Not only this, he used his special eye-drops that he got from Bangladesh,on my eyes,that got my younger sister almost asking him if he got it from the Bangali babas! Asra, that is what we call this young trouble maker, has foot-in-mouth disease 😛 When we came back home, she pointed to this corn plant that some chawkidars (gate-keepers) planted in the garden. What she particularly said was:

“Aymen aapa, tum ne buttay ka kheth dekha?” (Aymen, did you see the corn field?)

And me and my father started humming the song “Channay k kheth mai” . People! You do not want a translation for that. I just mentioned it to get “Rated Blogger Award”. Which reminds me a certain somebody has got a lot of awards lately! Way to go Hbeeba ! 😀

So Finally! you all know the reason of my absence and all that comes along with it. I think the swearing earned me the red-eye. I swear I’ll stop now! Not that swear! OH come-on!!!

I’ll end up with some shout outs and announcements. The last one is especially for my readers:

1) My mamu/uncle(mothers brother) and phupo/aunt(fathers sister) are here. Since they are among the best people I have ever come across, this special robot dance goes out to you! 🙂

 

my hair is not that crappy neither are the moves

 

2) Tayyaba Adnan @ www.tayyabaadnan.wordpress.com is not only the truly awesome blogger I have ever come across but also the best programmer (Engineering term, the nerds that we are). You won all bulls from my side! 🙂

3) Hbeeba Danyal Barry @ http://habibadanyalbarry.wordpress.com the Gravatar and translation is especially for you 🙂 And I thankyou humbly for the award! 🙂

4) For all the people who read my blog, are a follower or maybe not, there is a lot coming your way Inshaa Allah! Stay tuned for some different things apart from the usual randomness and stupidity. No, the eye infection does not transfer over the internet. You can read:P

WOW! I feel so light now! Remain happy people! Smile, make others happy and HEY! do not run away from someone coming your way with a big red-eye! You just might get the chance to meet this weird blogger 😉

CIAO!

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